New Lair of Thoughts

Confused

Been quite a week after I posted the 2.15 ramble.

I had too much fun time this week with my family this week and will continue the fun for the whole christmas week.

With that said, I’m somehow confused with who I am right now.

No, I was a good child and I still plan to be one. Just that some part of me changed and I know what have changed. I became a bit too rebelious nowadays especially with my decisions. I started doing thing that I’ve resented in the past. Before this, I never ever looked at people who do those things. I’ve tried my best not to be near stuffs that will just destroy me or change me. Simply because, I like who I was.

Yes. I changed. To the extent that I feel a I’ve matured even though I might have chosen the wrong decision. The fact remain I still have my inner self. The one that have been doing good to me. The one that made a friend to many. The one that even I, myself was proud of. The one I know that God is proud of.

I just wish people won’t place judgement.

But I know that won’t happen. One of my best and close friend told me never to bring judgement as an issue because people will always judge others. Like it or not, realise it or not, I do too. As a matter of fact, I do it most of the times : to people who are physically bigger than me, people who are personally more annoying than me or, even to strangers who did something that is different from my norm point of view. Yes. I place judgement. And I should stop asking for less from others unless I stop making more of it to them.

I’m a bit confused of where I’m heading now. Ok, maybe I’m really confused. What’s next? I should start living like I used to. Being happy and carefree and being so contagious to the surrounding. I should stop messing around with stuffs that worries alot of people that I care most especially my family.

Yes. I just HAVE to move on. I just HAVE to. I don’t wanna disappoint more people.

Anyway. I wanna sleep now. haha.

Going out later. Chow peeps.

I know.. another emo post. ahahahhaa